Eat Your Heart Out by Peta Mathias

Author:Peta Mathias [Mathias, Peta]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780143772934
Publisher: Penguin Random House New Zealand
Published: 2013-04-08T00:00:00+00:00

After careful thought, consideration and considerable squabbling, we have made the difficult decision to terminate our romantic relationship. We will continue to work together on television and in all media now known or hereafter devised, in perpetuity, throughout the universe. However our personal lives are now distinct and separate and we will be seeing other people, pigs, frogs, et al. This is our only comment on this private matter … unless we get the right offer. Thank you for your understanding.

What happened? Was the marriage thing all too much pressure for Kermit? Did Miss Piggy finally get the message that he would never marry her? Did the situation of working together and being in a relationship breed contempt? Did Kermit get tired of her physical abuse — after all, how many times can a frog be karate-chopped and not get brain damage? Did Piggy finally choose career over a hopeless love?

‘I don’t want to go into it,’ said Kermit.

‘Devastated — moi?’ snapped Piggy. Later she clarified: ‘I have no problem working with my ex … dating moi is like flying close to the sun. It was inevitable Kermit would drop down to the Earth and I would stay close to the heavens.’

As is common with many long-term couples who split up, the woman, in spite of everything, eventually relishes her freedom and the man immediately finds another partner — often a younger, prettier version of his ex. Kermit predictably started very publicly dating a fresh-faced, slimmer pig called Denise. Their fans were scathing, venting on Facebook:

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.